How To Stop Letting Little Things In Life Piss You Off
Have you ever seen someone complain about a parking ticket as if it’s the end of the world?
Have you been cut off in traffic and let it ruin your whole day?
How many times have you let your experience at the airport (crying baby, delayed flight, missing luggage) be the first thing you bring up in conversations with friends?
I want you to repeat after me: “these things happen”.
We all have these types of events come up in life, but successful people just go on as if nothing has happened, and unsuccessful people let it derail them.
The next time you feel a surge of anger coming on over an insignificant event in your life, go over these points in your head:
- You look like an idiot
There is no polite way to put this. When others around you see you COMPLETELY lose it over the dent in your car door, they aren’t feeling sorry for you and wondering how they can help. They are subconsciously judging you and coming to one inescapable conclusion: you aren’t in control of your life.If something this small throws you off, imagine how you’d react to a REAL problem in life. Overreacting tells the people around you that you can’t be trusted to deal with important issues. You’re not the goto guy (or gal) when they’re in need, because you can’t even take care of yourself.
- The only person you’re hurting is yourself
Did you ever realize that when you get upset at someone who cuts you off in traffic, they generally never even know? Usually they speed off never the wiser to your insults and gestures. By getting angry, you’re doing zero harm to them while simultaneously hurting yourself even more. That doesn’t make much sense, and is a waste of your precious time and energy.Now heres the zinger. What if that person purposely WANTED to upset you (they have some subconscious need to pick on others, they’re parents didn’t love them enough, etc)? Well then they are getting the exact reaction they wanted, and you’re playing right into they hands.
If you really want to mess with someone who flips you off in traffic, try smiling and waving back, and watch the confused look on their face. With time, you can even learn to appreciate and love these people (bizarre I know) for the important role they serve in life: helping to remind you how NOT to live. Don’t judge them, they are just at a different point in understanding life.
- Find something to be grateful about
So you’re sitting there in rush hour traffic about ready to tear your hair out. Train yourself to go right into gratitude, and start listing what you’re grateful for and what good can come from this situation.Maybe its the perfect time to make a phone call to a loved one you’ve been putting off. Maybe you can get some “reading” done on that audio book you’re listening to and be grateful for the chance to learn something new. Maybe its just a chance to put things in perspective and marvel at how far technology has come. After all, primitive mankind would have had to walk this distance. You get to SIT in an air conditioned chair barely pushing the accelerator.
There is something good in every situation, and you can find it. Even if its just that you’re grateful for the chance to practice being grateful.
Unsuccessful people are REACTIVE. They are a leaf blowing in the wind, the world is happening around them, and they are just trying to stay alive. When something bad happens, someone did it TO them and they take it personally. They get caught up in the victim mentality and take every opportunity to let people know it.
Successful people, on the other hand, are PROACTIVE. They make things happen in life and are on a mission. And by golly, they aren’t going to let some silly parking ticket take them off their mission. Instead, they say to themselves “these things happen” and move on to more important tasks.
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Paul Nguyen said,
Wrote on January 8, 2008 @ 7:06 am
Howdy!
I’ve been keeping track with your blog .Nice post.Thanks
Paul
Reply
Tom Volkar said,
Wrote on January 9, 2008 @ 12:53 pm
Brian, reading about road rage made me laugh out loud because it made me recall an incident. About five years ago on a Sunday morning in May, I was singing at the top of lungs with the sunroof down. At a light a guy in a pumped up truck pulled up next to me and said. “Hey what’s the definition of an asshole?”
The type A Tom of old would have been out of the truck ready to fight. But I was feeling so good that I never even asked to hear his punch line. I just said, “Bless you brother” and pulled away laughing.
It’s nice to see that we do develop and grow; you’re right on with this post. Keep them coming.
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Lucky said,
Wrote on January 10, 2008 @ 6:46 pm
I thought you might like this little song about living your job. http://www.suckypoems.com/2008/01/10/american-tie/
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Denver said,
Wrote on January 14, 2008 @ 6:02 pm
Most of the bad driving behavior occurs 5 minutes after mass/church lets out. Quite sad.
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Adonis said,
Wrote on January 29, 2008 @ 6:55 pm
I read the title and felt compelled to enter my comments. Well I think being able to laugh at others is the first step in being able to laugh at yourself. If you have ever seen the episode of Seinfield where George’s dad attempts to sell pc’s from his garage and constantly speaks of the TERM “serenity now” that is just one example, then just put yourself in that situation, and every time you get mad think about something funny* when I am upset I say serenity now and I can’t help but to smile, thinking how anger, really does not resolve a thing. Ever !
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Kelly said,
Wrote on January 30, 2008 @ 1:07 pm
Nice article.
I know someone who does exactly this, gets upset over the littlest things.
Hope they enjoy it when I send it to them
Thanks!
Reply
Izabael DaJinn said,
Wrote on February 2, 2008 @ 5:20 am
I was really pissed off about this article until I read it!
;-)
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kengkaj said,
Wrote on February 3, 2008 @ 1:03 pm
Good article. Thanks.
Reply
Dean said,
Wrote on February 4, 2008 @ 1:41 am
Hi Brian,
I StumbledUpon this nice post. Glad I found it.
I’ve found that getting mad at people or situations that happen only make the situation worse.
I’ve recently read that people who do get angry, pissed off, mad, etc. actually have live a shorter life than people who are happy.
Have a great day.
Reply
Eric Svenningson said,
Wrote on February 4, 2008 @ 11:53 pm
Who needs anger management when you have this article??
Reply
al said,
Wrote on February 7, 2008 @ 12:30 am
“If something this small throws you off, imagine how you’d react to a REAL problem in life.”
I am a customer service trainer. I have been preaching this for many years now. “If you let an angry customer ruin your day…what are you going to do when something REALLY bad happens?”
Reply
WHITEPOWER said,
Wrote on February 7, 2008 @ 3:39 am
Git ir Dunnnn
Reply
Chris Cade said,
Wrote on February 12, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
“If you really want to mess with someone who flips you off in traffic, try smiling and waving back, and watch the confused look on their face.”
This is great advice that I’ve been doing for years ever since one of my previously frequent trips to traffic school. :)
It’s also proven to be very helpful if I accidentally upset somebody – perhaps changed lanes and cut them off when they were in a blind spot, etc.
I’ve found that even angry people find it very difficult to be mean to people who wave and smile… precisely because of what you’ve said: it goes against their desired reaction and de-enforces rather than re-enforces their intent.
Reply
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work said,
Wrote on February 12, 2008 @ 6:43 pm
Yep Chris, the wave is always good. It throws them off, like you said.
Know any chronic complainers?
Here is a wonderful little trick for them. Just before they can open their mouths with their sorry update greet them warmly by name and say. “Hey Bill,
what’s right with you today?”
The look on their face will be priceless.
Reply
Brian Armstrong said,
Wrote on February 13, 2008 @ 7:45 pm
Haha!
Reply
Didier Gutierrez said,
Wrote on March 5, 2008 @ 2:55 am
Ha, ha, ha!
Reply
Lonnie Reply:
July 13th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
think it doesn’t happen? you my very well do it and don’t realize it…
Reply
Liz St. Clair said,
Wrote on June 14, 2008 @ 2:00 am
That was a very well written article about anger. Your point about “these things happen” is very good. Being able to accept and deal with the “curve balls” in life, can mean the difference between living a long life or having a heart attack at an early age. No matter your profession, maintaining a mature, calm professional demeanor will always be a positive reflection on your business.
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Brian Armstrong Reply:
June 14th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Thanks Liz!
Reply
Charbel Jamous » How To Stop Letting Little Things In Life Piss You Off said,
Wrote on July 23, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
[...] by Brian Armstrong [...]
Charbel Jamous said,
Wrote on July 23, 2008 @ 5:11 pm
God, it’s so true. I loved this article. We should all learn the power of positive thinking.
Keep up!
Reply
How To Instantly Feel Better When You're Sad said,
Wrote on July 24, 2008 @ 5:52 pm
[...] How To Stop Letting Little Things In Life Piss You OffHow To Analyze A Killer Real Estate DealDay 2: New Article, Amazon Cover Upload, and Digg CommentsHow To Understand (and Create) A Personal Financial Statement Each Month In 5 MinutesHow The Rich Think Differently Than The Poor and Middle ClassHow A Board Game (Like Monopoly) Can Teach You Financial FreedomHow To Disappear From Your Job For A Year, And Continue To Earn MoneyBuilding Website Traffic – Three Items Per Day For A MonthFrom New Idea To Business Launch In One Month (with pictures)Why You’re Worse Than You Think At Estimating Risk [...]
Y.S. Sridutt said,
Wrote on July 28, 2008 @ 4:31 am
Hey, Thanks a lot for the post on Smashing magazine site. I was generally browsing and clicked on the link for the eye tracking video. Thanks a lot for the post man. Owe you one.
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Brian Armstrong Reply:
July 28th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
No prob, thanks for stopping by the site!
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Barbara said,
Wrote on August 13, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
Great unique post! It is true that at times we flip out over the smallest things. The worst part of it, is that it can be the icing on the cake and then people who don’t know everything that has been going on – think we are crazy! But, all in all it is good to know to compose ourselves and act as adults!
Barbara
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Brian Armstrong Reply:
August 13th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Well put Barbara, thanks for the kind words!
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Miss C Reply:
January 11th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Guilty as charged! This happened to me in front of a woman who loves to gossip and to find fault with other women. In one moment of justified frustration I gave her all the ammo she needed. I didn’t really lose much of my composure, but vicious people only need a tiny scrap to work with. It was a good lesson.
Love the post and everyone’s comments.
Reply
mike yuen ken paahana said,
Wrote on October 7, 2008 @ 7:08 pm
thats what i tell my gf all the time but she make little things blow up into big things, so much drama she so insecure
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Brian Armstrong Reply:
October 11th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
So why are you dating her Mike?
Reply
jackmo said,
Wrote on October 19, 2008 @ 4:53 pm
overreacting tells people around you that you can’t be trusted to deal with the big issues – great point. I remember overreacting about a speeding ticket with my girlfriend in the car once just before we broke up.
Things would have been breaking down prior but this is a perfect example of having the wrong mindset.
cheers
Reply
Brian Armstrong Reply:
October 20th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Good example…and great that you made the connection so you’ll know for next time! :) I’ve been there too.
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DMRx said,
Wrote on October 24, 2008 @ 2:43 am
Love this post. I just downloaded Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living on Sribd.com and then found this post which fits right with it.
A friend mentioned a mutual acquaintance being surprised that I don’t seem to hold grudges thereby assuming that I didn’t have any feelings! Huh?
Well my friend rightly explained that I’m too busy with my life to hold on to insults made by other people. Not to say I don’t ever get upset by small things but I try to get over them really quick and move on.
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Brian Armstrong Reply:
October 24th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Thats a great attitude, we should all be so mature!
Reply
How To Make A Bunch Of New Friends In Any New City - Stepcase Lifehack said,
Wrote on November 24, 2008 @ 9:00 am
[...] let little things in life piss you off or be a negative person. Others won’t want to be around you! ( function() { var [...]
Stop Getting Pissed Over Little Things « Metro Gamer - Stylin’, Gamin’ and Profilin’ said,
Wrote on November 25, 2008 @ 9:55 am
[...] Getting Pissed Over Little Things While aimlessly wandering through my feeds, one particular article from LifeHack caught my attention. It’s simple, but what he’s saying is right. Why [...]
mrdisagree said,
Wrote on December 16, 2008 @ 2:27 am
this article is complete bullsh*t. do you mean to say that you can’t be BOTH successful AND lose it when some thoughtless idiot does something stupid like dents the car you’ve dreamt and worked so hard to attain? you might think its material (good on you for attaining zen), but you dont see that for some people these things mean more than the sum of their parts.
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How To Make The Holidays Less Stressful said,
Wrote on December 22, 2008 @ 9:41 pm
[...] I happened to be sitting there in a zen like state eating a candy bar and listening to an audio book at the moment – and I can honestly say it didn’t bother me one bit. In fact, I was almost laughing to myself at how funny it was watching everyone. I mean sure, maybe it’s not what you were expecting – but would it really be the end of the world if you got there one day later? It reminded me of a popular article I wrote on this blog about why you shouldn’t let little things in piss you off. [...]
Home Business Answered » How To Make The Holidays Less Stressful said,
Wrote on December 23, 2008 @ 2:28 am
[...] I happened to be sitting there in a zen like state eating a candy bar and listening to an audio book at the moment – and I can honestly say it didn’t bother me one bit. In fact, I was almost laughing to myself at how funny it was watching everyone. I mean sure, maybe it’s not what you were expecting – but would it really be the end of the world if you got there one day later? It reminded me of a popular article I wrote on this blog about why you shouldn’t let little things in piss you off. [...]
Daniel Massicotte said,
Wrote on December 23, 2008 @ 11:56 am
“The only person you’re hurting is yourself:” That’s the whole paradigm about getting angry (bad for the heart) and saying unkind things to people, or thinking about them (putting yourself in a bitter state).
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Matthew said,
Wrote on January 29, 2009 @ 12:03 am
What an inspiring article. It reminded me of a guy I know who gets depressed over little things like not getting the job he applied for and so on. I agree life is too short to let the little things make you miserable for a long time after. Like one of the comments said we all get ticked at something some times but the key is getting over it right away and moving on.
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John H said,
Wrote on February 8, 2009 @ 5:50 am
As part of on going self development I adopted as my new years resolution the mantra of “Dont let it piss you off” and apply it to everything!
Having done this for over a month which included stressfull activities such as fileing my annual tax return online – I have never had a greater sense of peace.
I do ask however “how do I replace to motivating aspect of anger”? Which can be a great spur to actioning a change for the better i.e. it is not always negative.
John
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Brian Armstrong Reply:
February 11th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Interesting question John. Anger can be motivating but I think it usually motivates me to do things which are a waste of time. Not sure if this is true for others, but for me I probably do better getting motivation from having a long term goal in mind – but just focusing on the single most important task at hand. It can be too daunting to think about a big goal, to the point that you never get started. But if you can work toward it in small steps and reward small accomplishments, that helps me.
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Junior Ramsaroop (Guyana, South America) said,
Wrote on April 1, 2009 @ 9:44 am
Now i must say thank you for this article and to all the persons that added posts simply wonderful all of you.
now i agree with the article. I think if people start looking at life differently they’ll just stop getting pissed so quickly and at everything.
i’ve had the unpleasant pleasure of loosing close ones and teaches you positive things if you allow yourself to learn from it…
every one says “live your life like everyday is going to be your last” but how many actully put that somewhat good thought into practice. if you really live like there is no tommorrow. you’ll see that every second counts… that time spent being mad at some idiot could have been spent saying somethings good to someone you love and even a stranger… when someone dies then we all say.. i should, wanted, and wish i could. stop!!! you have a chance now!! do it now… cause that time spent being pissed for nothing much could have been spent saying what could very well be your last set of words to someone you love…. and a smile can can change and entire situation… so you’re not garenteed tommorrow don’t waste the time you have now being pissed at something thats just simply not worth the time..
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Brian Armstrong Reply:
April 6th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Thanks for the comment Junior and stopping by!
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the102 said,
Wrote on April 13, 2009 @ 9:17 pm
Hey brian,
Great site, great post!!!
It can be so easy to let little things in life piss us off and its always the case that the worse you are doing or the more unhappy you are in your own life … the easier it is to get pissed off at others!
Im speaking from very direct experience here, especially over the past 12 months where I seem to have lost my sense of humour with the world.
Some things that have helped me and continue to help me keep things on an even keel …
1 … Alcohol (Ha Ha, just kidding :)
2 … Regular exercise Just Do It!!
3 … Having structure in my life … using a daily planner and planning my days in advance has really helped me to be more productive and feel much better about making progress.
4 … Break your routine and try something new or something you havent done for a while … go to the movies, indoor rock climbing, spend a whole day walking along the beach or bush walking, get a massage, get a group together and go paintballing etc.
5 … Instead of frustration, get fascinated … one of my favourite authors, Jim Rohn says this … “Im sitting in traffic, I’ve got to be at an important meeting in 10 minutes, I’ve got 15 blocks to go and traffic is not moving one inch … how fascinating?”
Keep up the good work Brain!! Cheers
Reply
the102 said,
Wrote on April 13, 2009 @ 9:23 pm
Hey brian,
Great site, great post!!!
It can be so easy to let little things in life piss us off and it always seems the case that the more unhappy you are in your own life … the easier it is to get pissed off at others!
Im speaking from very direct experience here, especially over the past 12 months where I seem to have lost my sense of humour with the world.
Some things that have helped me and continue to help me keep things on an even keel …
1 … Alcohol (Ha Ha, just kidding :)
2 … Regular exercise Just Do It!!
3 … Having structure in my life … using a daily planner and planning my days in advance has really helped me to be more productive and feel much better about making progress.
4 … Break your routine and try something new or something you havent done for a while … go to the movies, indoor rock climbing, spend a whole day walking along the beach or bush walking, get a massage, get a group together and go paintballing etc.
5 … Instead of frustration, get fascinated … one of my favourite authors, Jim Rohn says this … “Im sitting in traffic, I’ve got to be at an important meeting in 10 minutes, I’ve got 15 blocks to go and traffic is not moving one inch … how fascinating?”
Keep up the good work Brain!! Cheers
Reply
Brian Armstrong Reply:
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:10 am
Thanks for the comment I can tell we think alike! And yes, alcohol helps me relax too :)
Reply
tessa said,
Wrote on April 17, 2009 @ 12:00 pm
this really helped me.i have some of thes problems. im glad i found this site
Reply
Brian Armstrong Reply:
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:12 am
Welcome to the site Tessa and glad it helped!
Brian
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A person you will never know.... said,
Wrote on May 9, 2009 @ 3:48 pm
……I am mad all of the time…Not because of dents in my car or something like that….But people…I Honestly can’t stand half of the people in my state…The one about cutting people off in traffic…That’s not so bad….I like what your doing trying to help people..It helped me some…Keep posting man…
Reply
Brian Armstrong Reply:
May 10th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Thanks and glad it helped! Don’t forget that you can always move – even if it would be difficult or inconvenient I bet you could find a way. If somethings wrong in your life, there is always a way to fix it.
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Interview with Nomadic Entrepreneur and Author, Brian Armstrong | JetSetCitizen.com said,
Wrote on June 26, 2009 @ 5:34 pm
[...] Blogging is a GREAT way to hone your writing skills, find your voice, and interact with your audience to find what they’re interested in. Just as an example, sometimes I’ll put out a blog post which I think is pure genius and I’ll spend tons of time working on it. I’ll put it out there and NOBODY will care – imagine crickets chirping. Yet, another day I’ll post something I threw together in 2 minutes, a passing thought I had, and it will get passed all over the internet generating TONS of traffic. For an example see this post on how to stop letting little things in life piss you off. [...]
Blogging Banks said,
Wrote on June 29, 2009 @ 10:11 am
Brian,
Thanks for writing this post. I sometimes find myself reacting to stuff as opposed to being proactive, so I see I have a lot to learn.
Best Regards,
Blogging Banks
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Brian Armstrong Reply:
July 3rd, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Thanks for stopping by!
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