How To Stop Letting Little Things In Life Piss You Off
Have you ever seen someone complain about a parking ticket as if it’s the end of the world?
Have you been cut off in traffic and let it ruin your whole day?
How many times have you let your experience at the airport (crying baby, delayed flight, missing luggage) be the first thing you bring up in conversations with friends?
I want you to repeat after me: “these things happen”.
We all have these types of events come up in life, but successful people just go on as if nothing has happened, and unsuccessful people let it derail them.
The next time you feel a surge of anger coming on over an insignificant event in your life, go over these points in your head:
- You look like an idiot
There is no polite way to put this. When others around you see you COMPLETELY lose it over the dent in your car door, they aren’t feeling sorry for you and wondering how they can help. They are subconsciously judging you and coming to one inescapable conclusion: you aren’t in control of your life.If something this small throws you off, imagine how you’d react to a REAL problem in life. Overreacting tells the people around you that you can’t be trusted to deal with important issues. You’re not the goto guy (or gal) when they’re in need, because you can’t even take care of yourself.
- The only person you’re hurting is yourself
Did you ever realize that when you get upset at someone who cuts you off in traffic, they generally never even know? Usually they speed off never the wiser to your insults and gestures. By getting angry, you’re doing zero harm to them while simultaneously hurting yourself even more. That doesn’t make much sense, and is a waste of your precious time and energy.Now heres the zinger. What if that person purposely WANTED to upset you (they have some subconscious need to pick on others, they’re parents didn’t love them enough, etc)? Well then they are getting the exact reaction they wanted, and you’re playing right into they hands.
If you really want to mess with someone who flips you off in traffic, try smiling and waving back, and watch the confused look on their face. With time, you can even learn to appreciate and love these people (bizarre I know) for the important role they serve in life: helping to remind you how NOT to live. Don’t judge them, they are just at a different point in understanding life.
- Find something to be grateful about
So you’re sitting there in rush hour traffic about ready to tear your hair out. Train yourself to go right into gratitude, and start listing what you’re grateful for and what good can come from this situation.Maybe its the perfect time to make a phone call to a loved one you’ve been putting off. Maybe you can get some “reading” done on that audio book you’re listening to and be grateful for the chance to learn something new. Maybe its just a chance to put things in perspective and marvel at how far technology has come. After all, primitive mankind would have had to walk this distance. You get to SIT in an air conditioned chair barely pushing the accelerator.
There is something good in every situation, and you can find it. Even if its just that you’re grateful for the chance to practice being grateful.
Unsuccessful people are REACTIVE. They are a leaf blowing in the wind, the world is happening around them, and they are just trying to stay alive. When something bad happens, someone did it TO them and they take it personally. They get caught up in the victim mentality and take every opportunity to let people know it.
Successful people, on the other hand, are PROACTIVE. They make things happen in life and are on a mission. And by golly, they aren’t going to let some silly parking ticket take them off their mission. Instead, they say to themselves “these things happen” and move on to more important tasks.
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Paul Nguyen said,
Wrote on January 8, 2008 @ 7:06 am
Howdy!
I’ve been keeping track with your blog .Nice post.Thanks
Paul
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Tom Volkar said,
Wrote on January 9, 2008 @ 12:53 pm
Brian, reading about road rage made me laugh out loud because it made me recall an incident. About five years ago on a Sunday morning in May, I was singing at the top of lungs with the sunroof down. At a light a guy in a pumped up truck pulled up next to me and said. “Hey what’s the definition of an asshole?”
The type A Tom of old would have been out of the truck ready to fight. But I was feeling so good that I never even asked to hear his punch line. I just said, “Bless you brother” and pulled away laughing.
It’s nice to see that we do develop and grow; you’re right on with this post. Keep them coming.
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Lucky said,
Wrote on January 10, 2008 @ 6:46 pm
I thought you might like this little song about living your job. http://www.suckypoems.com/2008/01/10/american-tie/
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Denver said,
Wrote on January 14, 2008 @ 6:02 pm
Most of the bad driving behavior occurs 5 minutes after mass/church lets out. Quite sad.
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Adonis said,
Wrote on January 29, 2008 @ 6:55 pm
I read the title and felt compelled to enter my comments. Well I think being able to laugh at others is the first step in being able to laugh at yourself. If you have ever seen the episode of Seinfield where George’s dad attempts to sell pc’s from his garage and constantly speaks of the TERM “serenity now” that is just one example, then just put yourself in that situation, and every time you get mad think about something funny* when I am upset I say serenity now and I can’t help but to smile, thinking how anger, really does not resolve a thing. Ever !
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Kelly said,
Wrote on January 30, 2008 @ 1:07 pm
Nice article.
I know someone who does exactly this, gets upset over the littlest things.
Hope they enjoy it when I send it to them
Thanks!
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Izabael DaJinn said,
Wrote on February 2, 2008 @ 5:20 am
I was really pissed off about this article until I read it!
;-)
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kengkaj said,
Wrote on February 3, 2008 @ 1:03 pm
Good article. Thanks.
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Dean said,
Wrote on February 4, 2008 @ 1:41 am
Hi Brian,
I StumbledUpon this nice post. Glad I found it.
I’ve found that getting mad at people or situations that happen only make the situation worse.
I’ve recently read that people who do get angry, pissed off, mad, etc. actually have live a shorter life than people who are happy.
Have a great day.
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Eric Svenningson said,
Wrote on February 4, 2008 @ 11:53 pm
Who needs anger management when you have this article??
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al said,
Wrote on February 7, 2008 @ 12:30 am
“If something this small throws you off, imagine how you’d react to a REAL problem in life.”
I am a customer service trainer. I have been preaching this for many years now. “If you let an angry customer ruin your day…what are you going to do when something REALLY bad happens?”
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WHITEPOWER said,
Wrote on February 7, 2008 @ 3:39 am
Git ir Dunnnn
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Chris Cade said,
Wrote on February 12, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
“If you really want to mess with someone who flips you off in traffic, try smiling and waving back, and watch the confused look on their face.”
This is great advice that I’ve been doing for years ever since one of my previously frequent trips to traffic school. :)
It’s also proven to be very helpful if I accidentally upset somebody - perhaps changed lanes and cut them off when they were in a blind spot, etc.
I’ve found that even angry people find it very difficult to be mean to people who wave and smile… precisely because of what you’ve said: it goes against their desired reaction and de-enforces rather than re-enforces their intent.
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Tom Volkar / Delightful Work said,
Wrote on February 12, 2008 @ 6:43 pm
Yep Chris, the wave is always good. It throws them off, like you said.
Know any chronic complainers?
Here is a wonderful little trick for them. Just before they can open their mouths with their sorry update greet them warmly by name and say. “Hey Bill,
what’s right with you today?”
The look on their face will be priceless.
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Brian Armstrong said,
Wrote on February 13, 2008 @ 7:45 pm
Haha!
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Didier Gutierrez said,
Wrote on March 5, 2008 @ 2:55 am
Ha, ha, ha!
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Lonnie reply on July 13, 2008 4:46 pm:
think it doesn’t happen? you my very well do it and don’t realize it…
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Liz St. Clair said,
Wrote on June 14, 2008 @ 2:00 am
That was a very well written article about anger. Your point about “these things happen” is very good. Being able to accept and deal with the “curve balls” in life, can mean the difference between living a long life or having a heart attack at an early age. No matter your profession, maintaining a mature, calm professional demeanor will always be a positive reflection on your business.
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Brian Armstrong reply on June 14, 2008 7:34 pm:
Thanks Liz!
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Charbel Jamous » How To Stop Letting Little Things In Life Piss You Off said,
Wrote on July 23, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
[…] by Brian Armstrong […]
Charbel Jamous said,
Wrote on July 23, 2008 @ 5:11 pm
God, it’s so true. I loved this article. We should all learn the power of positive thinking.
Keep up!
[Reply]
How To Instantly Feel Better When You're Sad said,
Wrote on July 24, 2008 @ 5:52 pm
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Y.S. Sridutt said,
Wrote on July 28, 2008 @ 4:31 am
Hey, Thanks a lot for the post on Smashing magazine site. I was generally browsing and clicked on the link for the eye tracking video. Thanks a lot for the post man. Owe you one.
[Reply]
Brian Armstrong reply on July 28, 2008 5:10 pm:
No prob, thanks for stopping by the site!
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Barbara said,
Wrote on August 13, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
Great unique post! It is true that at times we flip out over the smallest things. The worst part of it, is that it can be the icing on the cake and then people who don’t know everything that has been going on - think we are crazy! But, all in all it is good to know to compose ourselves and act as adults!
Barbara
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Brian Armstrong reply on August 13, 2008 11:19 pm:
Well put Barbara, thanks for the kind words!
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